My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
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