We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
