dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
