thus making me awesome and them whores
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
