so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I think people are normalizing furries
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize