we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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