Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I am mentally ready for anal.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
