SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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