your room smells of hookers.
And success
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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