brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
