So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
