If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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