these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I faked an abortion last night.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
false alarm. still invincible.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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