you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Best friends brother. Beat that.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
