everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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