I feel like I'm in dance class right now
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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