I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
