I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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