I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
