What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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