i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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