Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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