you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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