I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
