I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Randomize
