YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Non-Jews are for practice
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
