I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
