We're facebook friends in real life
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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