i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
