roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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