all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
