I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
