i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
