I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
