hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
