dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
