And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
