I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
barbara walters just said penis...
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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