Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
