she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
