She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
