the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
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