Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Randomize
