i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Randomize
