my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
