I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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