I wish my penis had an off switch
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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