This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
