Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
