I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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