Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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