He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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