puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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