I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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