I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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