I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
