Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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