I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
