oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
