just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
